What 2020 Gave Me #30dayswritingchallenge

#30dayswritingchallenge

Day 6: single and happy

2020 defines day-6's topic 😜 2020 seems like out of rage? KIND OF. What obvious is last year brought me blessings which I'm thoroughly thankful for. So, here I am now being on my own and feeling freaking happy about it.

I wasn't happy at first tho. It made me think that I was the person who didn't deserve happiness. I wasn't worth to be loved. I rued myself for ruing 2020 but now I don't. Who cares with all dramatic thoughts now? I should've comprehend earlier that it's a blessing! It's not something to regret. I wouldn't make anyone stay because one will do if one want and need to. Still and all, 'replacement' is what one got. So, 2020 gave me special classes of forgiving and letting go and I took some freaking amazing life lessons. I learned to upgrade myself, too, for I understood that I might be one of the reasons why everything happened tho.

Now the question is "why not being happy?" It introduced me to the art of staying away from all the negativities, to understand pain and goodbye(s), to find what I deserve (for sure, more), and to love myself —no matter how bad the wall of trust has crumbled down.

I loved myself in (and before) 2020 that laughed a lot, traveled a lot to enjoy entire Bandung, did food tours a lot, and was so jolly of the storylines that have been made throughout those chapters of the book. Yet still, after 2020, that is now, contents me more than ever regardless those times when I tried to open up to a whole new book and retried and re-retried —I just couldn't compel feelings. So, this far, all I know, now is where I suss that I have been loved a lot all this lifetime by my dearest self, family, friends, and... will be loved by someone. Someday.

Oh, my dearest self,

you'll be so ready to love and to receive love after you love yourself in the very first place.

And I assume, so does everyone else.